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Born Dad's Greatest Hits

by Born Dad

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1.
Theme Song 00:36
Whoah! Born Dad!
2.
IDC 03:40
I heard what you did last night I heard that you did it I did go to bed last night I heard that you didn't You said it was no big deal You're gonna regret it 'Cause that's not really how I feel Gonna tell your friends, tow your car, call your mom, 'cause It doesn't matter to me how you feel It doesn't matter to It doesn't matter to me how you feel It doesn't matter to I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care I really really really really really don't care I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care I really really really really really don't care These days it's like everyone Doesn't have enough time to get things done So how did you find a way To flirt with someone different every single day And I don't know everything But I know I deserve better than that So that's why when you're not home I'm gonna break your stuff with your baseball bat! 'Cause It doesn't matter to me how you feel It doesn't matter to It doesn't matter to me how you feel It doesn't matter to I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care I really really really really really don't care I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care I really really really really really don't care I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care I really really really really really don't care I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care I really really really really really don't care
3.
Sexist Leftist Sexist leftist Sexist Leftist Sexist leftist You're not the first and the last one was better I thought that you needed to know I'm getting tired of you staying or leaving I think you should probably go I'm not the one that you should try this out on I'm not the one who's gonna stick it out for ya Sexist Leftist Sexist leftist You always have so many thoughts and opinions I think you should know I don't care About all my friends, and my time, and my religion And especially about my body hair I'm not the one that you should try this out on I'm not the one who's gonna stick it out for ya Hey hey hey hey "Feminist man" I know you're doing this the best you can Hey hey hey hey So don't be sad When I tell you your best ain't gonna cut it, it's too bad Sexist Leftist Sexist leftist You go around like you're so smart and thoughtful I'm here to tell you that you're actually awful Do everything that you say you're against That's how we know you're a sexist leftist! I'm not the one that you should try this out on I'm not the one who's gonna stick it out for ya Hey hey hey hey "Feminist man" I know you're doing this the best you can Hey hey hey hey So don't be sad When I tell you your best ain't gonna cut it, it's too bad
4.
Sexy Lefty 02:34
Sexy lefty you're so hot You don't interrupt me when I talk You plan our trips and getaways You text me every single day You're so sweet, you're so real Everybody's welcome to feel what they feel You own your shit, don't put it on me That's why you're a sexy lefty Everybody's welcome, everybody's welcome to be Sexy and lefty You're so cool because you care!
5.
At ghost fuck boy 1 2 3 4! It's been three weeks Where have you been? Reading Marx? Or the latest Jacobin? I don't like you You talk too much I just wanted To ride your f*cking c*ck Active on Facebook Ghost fuck boy I see your read receipts Ghost fuck boy You walk by me on the street Ghost fuck boy But you won't text me back We locked eyes at the show Ghost fuck boy You're sitting on my porch Ghost fuck boy You sat next to me at the bar Ghost fuck boy But you won't text me back You met my housemates You met my mom I know you're not tied up Because I was your dom You said you loved me That's what your bitmoji said But now where are you? Are you fucking dead? Active on Facebook Ghost fuck boy I see your read receipts Ghost fuck boy You walk by me on the street Ghost fuck boy But you won't text me back You know why you're a ghost? Why? Because we killed you! We killed you! Now you're toast! Yum! And we're gonna eat you!
6.
Hey, are you in a band? AHHHHHHHHH Saturday night, party at your group house Wearing denim jackets and we're going the fuck out You're a Maryland kid but you say you're from DC You like bikes and Twitter and pour over coffee There's been a change since you came to our show You remembered my name and you're liking all my posts Now you buy me a drink, offer me a cigarette Show me your tattoos, I am not impressed Wanna talk music and ask about my guitar Say you know some Dylan songs, as if that's hard There's been a change since you came to our show Are you in pain? 'Cause you're getting kind of close And you're not the only one, it just goes to show, that My band gets me boyfriends My band gets me so many boyfriends My band gets me boyfriends My band gets me so many boyfriends You think I'm cool, at least so far But is it all because I'm holding this guitar? Is it chemistry or my perceived social capital? Can't you see I'm still a little skeptical A change since you came to our last show I've got many men, don't act like you don't know But if you still wanna take me on a date then get in line, 'cause My band gets me boyfriends My band gets me so many boyfriends My band gets me boyfriends My band gets me so many boyfriends My band Gets me so many boyfriends I couldn't even count them on one hand And my boyfriends are so hot And they love my band The best thing about having boyfriends is telling them to do things for me Like, fold my laundry and make my bed And if you've been a really bad boyfriend And I mean, really really bad I'll make you clean out my tub And you can draw me a warm bath And make you scrub my back 'Cause I love it when you scrub my back hard baby! And I'll let you towel me off and I'll set you down on your knees And you'll make me c*m ten times And afterwards you can crawl into a hole and DIE My band gets me boyfriends My band gets me so many boyfriends My band gets me boyfriends My band gets me so many boyfriends
7.
Quit Yr Job 02:31
I'm a middle class woman My mom and dad too They told me to get a real job With benefits too Now I'm rushing to work 'cause I can't be late Gotta see my stupid boss every day I work overtime for no more pay While the rest of the world is going up in flames, is going up in flames Quit your job Fuck it up, fuck it up And never work again Fuck it up, fuck it up Quit your job Fuck it up, fuck it up And never work again, never work again, never work again Me and my friends We're really tired and sick We got a lot of bills It's getting harder to live We're so wound up at night we can't sleep And struggling to make it through another week What do we do? We're all stuck And capitalism is totally fucked, is totally fucked So quit your job Fuck it up, fuck it up And never work again Fuck it up, fuck it up We're gonna quit our jobs Fuck it up, fuck it up Take care of our friends, take care of our friends, take care of our sweet friends We're all gonna quit our jobs and take care of our sweet, sweet friends We're gonna quit our jobs Fuck it up, fuck it up And never work again Fuck it up, fuck it up We're gonna quit our jobs Fuck it up, fuck it up Take care of our friends, take care of our friends, take care of our sweet friends We're all gonna quit our jobs and take care of our sweet, sweet friends Fuck it up!
8.
Da-doo 03:09
He doesn't hear what they say about him He doesn't take the time to listen He doesn't hear a single sound As he walks around town But everybody else, they know What he did to that girl at that show But they don't have much to say She should have known better anyway Da-doo, da-doo, da-doo, da-doo Da-doo, da-doo, da-doo, da-doo She always hears what they say about her All their gossip and chatter Would it matter if she called them out? They know what they're talking about And every day she walks real slow Looking over her shoulder Gets a little harder every day She should have known better anyway Da-doo, da-doo, da-doo, da-doo Da-doo, da-doo, da-doo, da-doo Do you think she should have known better?
9.
What More? 03:20
You told me you want me But you're just performing Trying to stick it in me And leave without warning I tried to be clearer I tried to take control But you pushed me too far Even though I said no Even though I said no, even though I said no Even though I said no, even though I said no My body's full of shame I try to shift the blame But it doesn't make a difference anyway No matter what I say It doesn't make a difference anyway No matter what I say It doesn't make a difference anyway No matter what I say What more can I do? What more can I do? What more can she do? What more can she do? What more can we do? What more can we do?
10.
There's no toilet paper Sack of trash! And the seltzer's flat Sack of trash! Our coffee's old Sack of trash! And the fruit has mold Sack of trash! We never shave Sack of trash! And our underwear's dirty Sack of trash! I take one bath a week Sack of trash! And I'm still fuckin' flirty! Sack of trash! I paid one bill Sack of trash! And I made it to work Sack of trash! But I forgot about my date Sack of trash! I was really, really late Sack of trash! I killed all my plants Sack of trash! And I've got holes in my pants Sack of trash! I pick my nose Sack of trash! I'm a nasty fuckin' hoe Sack of trash! We're all piles of garbage We're all piles of garbage We're all piles of garbage What are you? I'm a sack of trash but I'm not a trash fire!

credits

released March 20, 2020

Born Dad is Leah Douglas, Rae Gaines, Zach Knowlton, Katie Parker, and Mary Alice Reilly
Songs by Leah Douglas, Mary Alice Reilly, and Born Dad

Recorded by Kyle Pulley and Jackie Milestone at Headroom Studios, Philadelphia
www.headroom.studio
Assisted by Alex Bessen, Ross Aranow, Brendan Simpson, David Juro, Luke Volkert
Mixed by Jackie Milestone, except "IDC" and "Sexist Leftist" mixed by Kyle Pulley.

Mastered by Ryan Schwabe
Album art by Ruth Tam

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Born Dad Washington, D.C.

50% jokes. 50% queer rage.

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