Hey, are you in a band?
AHHHHHHHHH

Saturday night, party at your group house
Wearing denim jackets and we're going the fuck out
You're a Maryland kid but you say you're from DC
You like bikes and Twitter and pour over coffee

There's been a change since you came to our show
You remembered my name and you're liking all my posts

Now you buy me a drink, offer me a cigarette
Show me your tattoos, I am not impressed
Wanna talk music and ask about my guitar
Say you know some Dylan songs, as if that's hard

There's been a change since you came to our show
Are you in pain? 'Cause you're getting kind of close

And you're not the only one, it just goes to show, that

My band gets me boyfriends
My band gets me so many boyfriends
My band gets me boyfriends
My band gets me so many boyfriends

You think I'm cool, at least so far
But is it all because I'm holding this guitar?
Is it chemistry or my perceived social capital?
Can't you see I'm still a little skeptical

A change since you came to our last show
I've got many men, don't act like you don't know

But if you still wanna take me on a date then get in line, 'cause

My band gets me boyfriends
My band gets me so many boyfriends
My band gets me boyfriends
My band gets me so many boyfriends

My band
Gets me so many boyfriends
I couldn't even count them on one hand
And my boyfriends are so hot
And they love my band
The best thing about having boyfriends is telling them to do things for me
Like, fold my laundry and make my bed
And if you've been a really bad boyfriend
And I mean, really really bad
I'll make you clean out my tub
And you can draw me a warm bath
And make you scrub my back
'Cause I love it when you scrub my back hard baby!
And I'll let you towel me off and I'll set you down on your knees
And you'll make me c*m ten times
And afterwards you can crawl into a hole and DIE

My band gets me boyfriends
My band gets me so many boyfriends
My band gets me boyfriends
My band gets me so many boyfriends